I used to always be the single one.

While all my friends would be in relationships, I was living single.

Oh the things people would say to me as a single fat woman. They would say “you are so pretty, why are you single?” Or they would let me know that because I was single that there must be something wrong with me. They would inform me that if I lost weight, I would find myself a man.

The “men” that were “interested” wanted to “kick it” (this was before the time of Netflix and chill) of course there were the people that would lead me on.

While I was going through my single years I met 2 people who I thought were the one. One guy did everything and said everything that I wanted to hear, just to get what he wanted. Then I was nothing, but a “whore” according to him when he got what he wanted. He was a very abusive person, and honestly I let him get away with it because, I grew up being abused verbally, mentally and physically by my father. Eventually I stopped, stopped talking to him, blocked him on social media, blocked him on my phone. Because I was done.

The other person, well, he was a sociopath. He lead me on for years and seemed to enjoy when he let me down, then he would bring me back up only to destroy me again. My single years were not kind to me.

I had friends who were in relationships, friends who weren’t single but acted like they were and only one single friend. I remember this one time my friend who was not single (but still talked to people) she said to me, “you are always going to be single April, you will never know what it’s like to be like my man and me.” That really stung.

I would say to myself, why are you single? Why doesn’t anyone love you? You are going to be alone forever. I believed it and eventually accepted it, but as you all know now I am happily married. I have two amazing kids with a man who means the world to me.

What I’m trying to get at with this post, is being single can be hard, especially in this day of Netflix and chill and all the other excuses people make so they don’t have to go on an actual date. If you are single there is not a damn thing wrong with you. Don’t let people think just because you are alone that you aren’t good enough. You do you babe and find someone on your own time. I truly believe there is someone out there for everyone that is looking. It may take years, but never lose hope.