It’s Not Your Fault

After years I’m ready to talk about a certain part of my life that has affected me for many years. My parents were/are “addicted” to marijuana. I know most people will say that it’s not possible, because it is not addictive and those people would be right, but my parents are the expectation.

I remember being told when I was around 4 or 5 years old by my parents that I shouldn’t tell anyone that they smoke pot because my brother and I would be taken away and it would be our fault.

That’s some heavy shit to put on a preschooler’s shoulders, but I did like they said and I never said anything.

Years went by, they always smoked around us. They didn’t seem to care that we were in the room. I remember being in the car when they would pick up their pot.

It was normal, because it always happened.

It wasn’t until I got older and would go to friends houses and would see that it was indeed not normal, but still I didn’t say anything.

Around age 12 is when it started to take a drastic turn. Money started to get tight, but they still bought their pot. We would run out of money and food, but they would always have pot to smoke and when they didn’t…

Let’s just say that there was a lot of yelling and blaming others (mostly my brother and myself) because we had no more money.

The blame game continued on into high school. I hated being home because we were always broke (because they spent all their money on pot obviously) I would try to stay in my room or not be at the house at all because life sucked. If it wasn’t for school I would have starved. The verbal, mental and physical abuse was too much. I was very depressed and suicidal. I felt like death would be the only way, I could get away from them, but I had friends they kept my hope alive.  I hated my parents, they chose marijuana over their children. While I have nothing against medicinal or recreational use, I just wanted people to know my story, because I know I’m not the only one.

There are so many kids in this country that experience things like this everyday over alcohol, or other drugs and it’s time they stop feeling ashamed over their parents choices.

It’s not your fault.

2 thoughts on “It’s Not Your Fault

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