Dear Dad, You Didn’t Win

You tried to break me and several times you succeeded.

You beat me down at every opportunity.

You told me I was a useless fat bitch who would never amount to anything.

And I believed you.

I did everything you told me to do.

I wore what I was allowed to wear.

You let me color my hair so I had a sense of freedom, but if I cut my hair all hell would break loose.

What’s crazy is how much I loved you, I obeyed you and gave you every amount of respect you demanded plus more.

I was your live in slave and you never once said thank you. You just expected it to all be done.

If you could see me now you would hate me so much more than you ever did before.

I am my own person now.

It took me 30 years to discover true happiness,

I smile more. I am more open about myself.

I may never be normal, but I am making my own normal. I have made friends. Oh you would hate them so much because they encourage me to love myself.

Dad,

You did everything in your power to completely destroy me. To make me feel as if no one could ever love me and you almost succeeded.

But I am alive and I finally know what love is supposed to feel like and that’s something you will never be able to take away from me.

April

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