DIY: the CURSE A BITCH edition









So yeah, follow up to this post.

You’ll need:
• polymer clay
• nails
• paints and brushes
• a jar
• a taglock
• salt
• black pepper
• tabasco
• vinegar (the clear kind you use for cleaning)
• dirt
• gutter water
• candles

First I salted all my windowsills and my doorstep with salt to make protect my house. To make sure the bitch wouldn’t be able to counteract, I created a home guardian who acts as a “bouncer” of sort.

Then I made a small poppet out of clay. I tried to make it look as much like the bitch as I could at that scale. Then I drove nails into her, telling her each time why she was being stabbed. “This one is for when you made fun of coworker S”, “this one is for when you bullied coworker B”, “this one is for when you took pictures of me”, etc… I finished by driving a nail in her mouth “that’s to teach you to stop spreading gossips and lies”

I made her look anguished and in pain because that’s why I want for her. Then I baked the poppet, leaving the nails in. I roughly painted it afterward.

Once it was dried, I glued her inside the jar. My taglock this time was a note she wrote me. Her name was even on it, so that was good. I put it inside the jar and lit it up. Watching the flames lick her frame was cathartic.

Once it was done burning, I covered the ashes with salt to ward off her influence and irritate her. Then I ground some black pepper and poured it along some tabasco on her, to burn her. Then I went outside and scraped some dust and hair and dead bugs from the ground and poured it on her, so her reputation gets as dirty as she tried to make mine.

Ew, gross.

I added nails to the mixture so that every time I shake the jar, she’s hit by the weight of what she’s done.

Then I filled it to two third with vinegar. At first I wanted to use the cooking kind, but in the end, the cleaning kind made more sense. I mean, she’s a huge disgusting stain on the surface of earth, so… I topped it off with some gutter water because that’s where she belong, and spat in it three times, thinking about all the crap she had done to me and the others.

Once I was done, I just sealed it with wax and placed it in a dark place where it never sees the light of day.

I poured some salt and pepper on top of it, hence the grains. The color is a lot grosser irl, haha.

Anyway, there you go: how to curse a bitch.

you have to follow up with the shitstorm that hits her later please

Lots of shit happening already. She’s making mistakes. My coworkers were all scared of her before but now people are starting to taaaaaalk~

yasss witch power baby

Since you wanted the follow up: everything is slowly spiraling into chaos and it’s hilarious as fuck.

At first it was just me telling my bosses about how she’s been treating me (can’t just count on magic to solve my shit!) but little by little, the rest of the team joined in. Especially since she keeps slipping up and treating our coworkers like shit.

Weirdly enough people don’t like being talked to like they’re stupid or bossed around! Who would have guessed???? :)))))))

Her BFF/righthand girl bragged about monitoring our lunch break (despite having denied it before) to a coworker… And right after that she fucked that coworker over by not letting her get her afternoon break. Guess who went to the bosses and told on her?

Also something happened yesterday. It wasn’t my shift so I don’t know what exactly but my manager told me it’s safer if I don’t know and that it would prove to our bosses without a single doubt that they were both the ones causing trouble in the team.

You could say it’s a “two bitches one stone” situation, and I’m just in the midst of it like:

This post has been making rounds again, so I figured I’d tell the end of the story! 😀

So I went into sick leave for a while. When I came back… Toxic Coworker had been promoted. Not the post she wanted, she’s not our team manager, but still. It was a bummer. I thought my curse had failed and… considering my shaky belief in my own magic, that wasn’t a good feeling.

That would be a pretty disheartening story if it ended there but it doesn’t so don’t worry 😀

The days went by. But then, I started noticing little things. For example:

  • Because of her promotion, she has to run errands around and therefore is pretty much never around my workspace and I don’t have to endure her presence anymore.
  • She’s in charge of customer service so clients call her all day long to scream at her. How does your own medicine taste, I wonder? ❤
  • No one in the team will hang out with her anymore, or even acknowledge her existence. That doesn’t seem like a lot, but compared to pre-curse time when people kept forgiving her despite being treated like shit, the contrast is striking.
  • Our managers are all pretty mad at her because she keeps ordering them around so she gets called out every time she crosses the line. It’s pretty hilarious.
  • Her time schedule is shit. She complained before that our team’s schedule (tuesday to saturday, 9am to 6pm) was preventing her from spending time with her husband. Now she works every week-ends and from 2pm to 9pm. So absolutely no time with him. Also she has to be available at all time so our bosses can call on her if they need her there. So that means no way to plan anything at all. Welcome to Service Industry Hell, love.

I can’t begin to tell you how hard it is not to cackle when I hear her complain. It’s not what I expected but it’s deliciously ironic that the promotion she worked so hard for was her downfall. In retrospect, it makes a lot of sense that my magic would work that way, it suits my sense of humor to a T.

So yeah, that’s how you curse a bitch, kids.

There are not words for how happy I am to finally have the whole story for this!

how have i never seen this before

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s